I’m choosing myself,
to step away from the responsibilities
and be selfish.
I’ve done this too many times
too scared to look at freedom
and dove back into the dark cage.
but more duties to fulfill sure will force me to do things
I can only succeed and not fail.
I can’t believe how wrong I was
in the pursuit of my passion.
I offered my soul and entire self and attached it to my dreams
while it grew its own wing and flew away,
the never-ending exhaustion chasing after it,
constant losing battles.
But this time I chose myself
that I’m the dream
that I don’t have to suffer and be in pain
that I am motivated
It was never taken from me, I just refused to choose myself.
In the hasty gust
I made up with life
by being stable and steady
like a leaf in the breeze.
Today I won
against the lukewarm wetness
evaporated by an invisible sun.
My face, comfortably dry
and capable of standing on its own
out in the open and not hiding
under the blankets;
the arid smell of too good to be true.
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the roaring sea
lost in the turbulence of the wave
what a scary sight
from the trough of the tsunami
in arrival to the peace
on the other side
how small the sky looks
through the opening
the light and freedom so intangible
from the darkness deep bellow
people stop by
how bad it must be
and the voices fades
as the pit gets deeper
and so alone
it takes one person
a single compassionate soul
one willing to jump into the darkness
to let the lights in again
It’s the throbbing in my chest when I sprint out of my room to catch that last glimpse of the crimson sunset and later capturing such feelings in the muse of aimless freedom in my writing. The poetry captures my spontaneity, as a sudden beautiful flickering of the candlelight can launch me into composing a new poem and a supplemental artwork for the post.
When I listen to my heart through writing poetry, I’m no longer lost navigating the maze of societal expectations. The certainty that the beauty of the candlelight and the sunset will diminish eventually forces me to cherish it at the moment, and I want to bring my readers to the present moment, to the deep meaning of a single flicker. My goal is to share my journey to self introspection and inspire my readers by showing them the appeal of being mindful in the present and breaking free of the past and future.
Photo by luizclas on Pexels.com
The full yellow moon
the little things in life
the happiness of riding smoothly
where am I now?
what’s up ahead?
A dot on the horizon
in search of a reason
Dragged by the turbulence of waves
And pushed by the force of the winds,
To where are we being guided in the dark
By the mysterious forces of our lives?
Perhaps the truth lies before us,
it is not meant for us to know.
We learn to navigate swiftly
between the ocean and the sky
In indecipherable code in above,
In the blinking stars and the twirling clouds,
We search for a clue.
Awaiting for a sudden glimpse
into the abyss beneath
in the darkness that holds
the answers untold.
What am I supposed to do?
Where am I supposed to be going?
I want to stay here. Can I at least do that?
but at the end of it
I just don’t ever want to think
that “i have to become this”
Not even being able to earn a living
I’ll be okay with that as long as i’m doing the work i love
so the destination doesn’t matter in the slightest
keep doing the practice problems
and pass the exams
because it’s all that I’ve got at this point
see you guys on the other side.
We compete for oxygen
we let out carbon dioxide
we burn on fuels
and limited time.