C: It sounds like you might also be holding yourself to the expectation to be in control of your cognitive state, and that might be stressful.
M: Should we not be in control of our cognitive state?
C: We are always under the influence of our surroundings. There are hundreds of people that we crossroads with, and thousands of things to take care of in our own lives. It makes sense how difficult it might be for someone to be in control of the constant twirling of life.
M: Yet we have to somehow push through it.
C: Just remember that you are heading somewhere. There’s a place waiting for you to settling in and to finally relax. Every emotion is guiding us somewhere and building our lives to have meaning. I’m so glad that your emotions guided you here today.
M: That’s an interesting thing isn’t it? Because our emotions do in fact guide us and we can see that everything that has ever happened to us led us to this very moment, yet despite the feeling that things do happen for a reason, my inability to see the whole of it or the end of it is really bothering me.
C: Perhaps it’s better not to see the whole of everything, for that might be overwhelming. Since no one can be completely all-knowing, how do we know that there’s a whole truth out there… Maybe knowing more just leads to more unanswered questions. This nature of life makes it infinitely subjective. Only we would know the endings of our lives and the places where we end up.
M: This is spot on. My issue is that I have hard time accepting that whatever truth lies before us, it is not meant for us to know, which leaves you to live in a sort-of blind faith that things are going to be fine. At the same time, since you have already had a glimpse of it, you can never truly return to the comfort of ignorance and as you said, it is entirely subjective, which often makes it lonely and hard to express with other people, especially if you do not have many close people by your side to begin with.
C: Wow…chatting with you makes me so happy…it’s often difficult to share feelings with someone else because it takes so much courage and patience to formulate such complex emotions into words. It would be the best feeling in the world for one to have a connection with another being without the restriction of such complications.
M: It really would. But perhaps this is what makes the game of life fun – the reward of doing the seemingly impossible. To both find another person you can delve into the abyss with and a way to express all of these intense emotions and thoughts into language.
C: That does sound very beautiful. + ❤️
7 Cups
August 2020
The Conscious Hour 