Have I really grown in the past year or was it all an illusion? Everything is taken away because zoom is tripped away, and all my online skill went away with it. I’m more comfortable with my online identity than in person. I’m losing the protection of online interactions and going in raw in person feels so intimidating. It feels like I went back to the old days of social anxiety and loneliness and not enjoying my time at school at all because wits more troubled with other people’s perception of me. I’m pretending to be someone else but I’m scared to face that I might have regressed into not being about to fit in and make friends normally.
On the bright side, talking with my online friends made it better, and I didn’t keep crying.
The Golden Moon:
The past few days has been disastrous but all it took was a good tennis game with my brother and a beautiful sight of the golden moon. It looked like a gold coin in the sky, presented to me by the black soft background, like jewelry. It was the most beautiful moon I’ve ever seen, and that give me the thought that maybe I deserve something good as well, like happiness.
The Conscious Hour 