Tag: Consciousness

Choose Yourself (a poem)

I’m choosing myself,

to step away from the responsibilities

and be selfish.

I’ve done this too many times

too scared to look at freedom

and dove back into the dark cage.

I’m tired,

but more duties to fulfill sure will force me to do things

I can only succeed and not fail.

I can’t believe how wrong I was

in the pursuit of my passion.

I offered my soul and entire self and attached it to my dreams

while it grew its own wing and flew away,

the never-ending exhaustion chasing after it,

constant losing battles.

But this time I chose myself

that I’m the dream

that I don’t have to suffer and be in pain

that I am motivated

It was never taken from me, I just refused to choose myself.

Getting to a Better Place

I went skateboarding in the sunset, and the greyness of the sky afterward reminded me of the emptiness I feel most of the nights. Missing numerous sunsets is the cause of my misery because I need the orange glow to keep my soul alive in the monotone darkness.

I REALLY NEED IT. I NEED TO MAKE IT A MISSION TO GO OUT AND SEE EVERY SUNSET.

I will do it! It’s how I can become better. My personal voice awakens in the sunset, and the dark thoughts get pushed into the background and I finally feel like I’m ready for life.

A Letter to the Future

I admitted my limitations and the strength of my opponent, but knew that I had the energy to push myself to achieve the next serve. All I could see and feel was the game at the moment. The world felt so colorful, and I could even see all angles of the gold flakes in the sky.

After the tennis game, I walked home while looking at the lone star. Solitude overtaken me: I was shaken, but not scared by this unfamiliar, re-experienced loneliness. I knew that I was truly alone in this world. No actions of other people can push me anymore. I’ve grown out of following other’s orders in seek for temporary achievement. I have to look towards the distance star: something long term and difficult to achieve in order to move on to the future.

It’s self torture really — having the confidence to face the difficulty and utilize your full potential. Making your own star to follow.

The Nice Things (a poem)

none of this belongs to me

i walked amongst the nice things;

the pure blue sky and the creamy sunshine,

the eloquent shadows stretching on the road

relaxing with the glowing green leaves.

but I saw my smile

in the emerald sparkles deep in the bush

and the red shyness of the new born leaves.

how can i not accept

the cheers of those creatures

an embodiment of my happiness

memories.

A Choice to Savor Consciously

We go about most of our days as empty-headed zombies. For me, being locked inside my room because of quarantine robs me of my passion and motivation. However, an interesting phenomenon I found was that it was easier for me to do creative work during the hour of the sunset. I think this is because of the immense passion I felt during one sunset walk; buried in messy thoughts from school, the beauty of nature captivated me and released me from my mental spiraling.

One View Outside the Window

Since that experience, I consistently go for a sunset walk, during which the warm lights enable the cultivation of many great ideas for my writing pieces. I also started a personal blog named Conscious Hour to record some of the ideas and compile them into my personal philosophy. I chose to savor the moment consciously because I believe that in a day of our busy, disorientating lives, finding a time of spiritual connection allows our creative mindset and passion to flow through the blockade of negative thoughts and emotions. Doing so, we can better ground ourselves through reflection and deep breaths, before moving forward.